Building Bridges

Why does every conversation with my partner turn into an argument?

Why does my partner never appreciate the things I do for them?

Why do I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells in my relationship?

When did my relationship turn so difficult?

If you’re experiencing these thoughts, you’re not alone. 

Relationships demand commitment, support, and love. Sometimes, life gets busy, and we don’t have the time to nurture our relationships as we should. It’s easy for partners to take each other for granted or to assume that the other should understand their reactions and needs implicitly. This can lead to feelings of being unsupported or misunderstood.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward addressing them and rebuilding a healthier, more respectful connection. 

To initiate change, you must first acknowledge that there is a problem and commit to working on it. Whether it’s setting aside time each day to discuss your concerns or scheduling an appointment with a therapist, taking proactive steps is crucial to building a solid foundation for your relationship.

When I wrote my novel ‘Taste of Fate’, I wanted to present a picture of healthy relationship dynamics set in an engaging narrative. 

There are many lines that are close to my thought and ideology but this one encapsulates the essence of an ideal relationship, “A healthy relationship is a dynamic exchange, a continuous give-and-take where both partners contribute to the growth and well-being of the union.”

Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, enabling partners to express their needs, desires, and concerns openly. It fosters understanding and trust by allowing both individuals to address issues before they escalate. 

When both voices are heard and valued in a relationship, there is synergy. 

Take time today to nurture your relationship. 

Call your partner and say how much you love them. 

Schedule a date night and find joy in nurturing conversations. 

Remember, life is enriched by meaningful relationships, and it all begins at home. 

Wishing you an amazing weekend filled with love and laughter. Here’s to authentic relationships lighting up our lives.

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To know more about my view on relationships, check out my novel ‘Taste of Fate’ on Amazon. It is free on Kindle Unlimited and is Amazon’s Top 5 Bestseller for four months now.https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0CWLQJCZT

#Relationships #RelationshipCounseling #DearMaya #RelationshipAdvice #Communication #Respect #Romance #Novel #Psychology

RECLAIM YOUR AURA

Have you ever felt drained around a person?

Has someone’s aura put a damper on your positivity?

Do you find yourself avoiding certain individuals because they seem to suck the energy out of you?

If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, you’ve likely encountered what many refer to as “energy vampires.”

I did my certification in energy healing and realized that the concept of an energy vampire is indeed valid in the alternative healing beliefs. Even though it is not a validated concept in the scientific framework, I personally feel there is some merit to this term that exists in the metaphysical realm.

Energy vampires are individuals who, intentionally or unintentionally, drain your emotional and mental energy.

They thrive on your attention and can leave you feeling exhausted, stressed, and overwhelmed. These individuals often exhibit characteristics such as constant negativity, excessive complaining, or a tendency to create drama.

However, it's not just about whining or negative topics; they also criticize you, push you into a corner, and drain all positivity out of you.

For fans of the Harry Potter series, the term “dementor” might ring a bell. Dementors are dark creatures that feed on human happiness, leaving their victims feeling cold and despondent. While energy vampires don’t have the supernatural ability to literally suck out your soul, the impact they have can feel strikingly similar.

 Just as dementors leave their victims feeling hopeless, energy vampires can sap your motivation and enthusiasm.

Identifying energy vampires in your life is the first step to managing their impact.

Some signs that someone might be an energy vampire include:

·        ~  They always focus on the negative aspects of life and rarely having anything positive to say.

·         ~ They are often at the center of conflict or chaos, stirring up drama wherever they go.

·         ~ These individuals crave constant attention and validation, often monopolizing conversations.

·       ~  They consistently portray themselves as the victim in every situation, refusing to take responsibility for their actions.

·        ~  They criticise you relentlessly, undermining your confidence and making you feel trapped.

If you had a face in your mind as you read this, it is your hint to act and reclaim your aura back.

While it’s tempting to avoid energy vampires altogether, this isn’t always possible, especially if the person is a boss, family member, or someone you encounter regularly.

Here are some practical tips to help you cope:

·         Establish clear boundaries regarding what topics you’re willing to discuss and how much time you’re willing to spend with them.

·         Politely but firmly enforce these limits. Reduce the amount of time you spend with them whenever possible. If you can’t avoid them entirely, try to limit interactions to shorter, more manageable periods.

·         Counter their negativity with positivity. While it’s important not to engage in toxic positivity, maintaining a hopeful outlook can help mitigate their draining effect. Understand their perspective without getting emotionally involved. This can help you stay detached and protect your energy.

·         Practice deep breathing, visualization, or other grounding techniques before and after interactions to help maintain your emotional balance.

If dealing with an energy vampire becomes overwhelming, talk to a friend, therapist, or counselor for support and guidance.

Remember that it is important to protect your emotional well-being and maintain your positive outlook. Your energy is valuable – guard it wisely.

Question the Answers - A toolkit for personal transformation.

 I have finished writing my third book, "Question the Answers". 

As an engineer, shifting to social sciences was a conscious choice to make a difference in the lives of people and spread more hope and positivity. That thought has led me to master’s degrees in philosophy and psychology, and now this bestseller streak as an author. 

In life coaching, we emphasize the importance of "setting intent." Setting intent involves not only defining a clear purpose but also visualizing the desired outcome. This mental imagery helps in aligning actions with goals and maintaining motivation through challenges.

When an intent is pure and backed by conviction, it will lead you onto something bigger than oneself. 

"Question the Answers" is a transformative guide to introspection and personal growth. Filled with thought-provoking questions and insightful reflections, *Question the Answers* invites readers to embark on a journey of self-exploration. Through guided reflection, readers are empowered to navigate life's challenges, make informed decisions, and cultivate a growth-oriented mindset.

I have created a blueprint for pausing amidst life's chaos, reflecting on key facets of life, and reframing perspectives to foster personal reinvention.

"Question the Answers" is designed to be a companion for those seeking to cultivate inner peace, personal growth, and a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them. 

I hope this book starts an internal dialogue towards finding your passion and setting an intent. Thank you for being part of this journey. I am humbled by the support and love that helped me publish three books in a span of 16 months. 

Thank you for purchasing and loving 'A Balance Called Life' and 'Taste of Fate'. Being accepted in both fiction and non-fiction is a dream come true. Thank you. I appreciate you being part of this amazing journey. 

Here’s to good intents leading to success for all of us.

Timeless Conversations #PhilosophyThursdays

Philosophy has always fascinated me. It is simple yet profound. It is complex yet a part of everyday existence. It is reachable and yet elusive. The paradox it provides is enough for hours of pondering and entertainment.

I have been writing on the quotes of some of the prominent philosophers I admire. Today, I would like to talk about René Descartes' quote, "The reading of all good books is like conversation with the finest men of past centuries." 

This quote appeals to me as a reader and author because it captures a profound appreciation for literature and its timeless value.

When we read great books, we engage in a form of intellectual dialogue with the authors, philosophers, and thinkers of previous eras. These books create a bridge that connects us with their minds. The finest minds of past centuries have grappled with fundamental questions about existence, morality, society, and human nature. Reading their books is an opportunity to learn from their experiences and insights, which remain relevant despite the passage of time.

Books also provide a window into the historical, cultural, and social contexts of their times. By reading, we gain a better appreciation of how past societies operated, what values they upheld, and what challenges they faced. This historical awareness enriches our understanding of contemporary issues and helps us draw parallels and contrasts between different epochs.

Beyond intellectual engagement, reading great books can also be a source of personal and emotional enrichment. These works often explore the depths of human experience, offering insights into love, loss, joy, and suffering. They resonate with our own lives and emotions, creating a sense of connection with the authors and their characters.

The journeys of great thinkers and writers, often fraught with challenges, remind us of the potential for human greatness and the enduring power of the written word. They encourage us to strive for excellence and contribute our own voices to the ongoing conversation of humanity.

Let's take this as an opportunity to own our voices and register them for posterity, for sometimes it is in these small steps that future generations unravel the secrets of our era.

Here's to writing, transforming reality, and enduring for centuries.

Mindfulness #MentalHealthMay

In the final week of #MentalHealthMay, I would like to talk about Mindfulness. This is a very important topic and is tied to everyday life as well as our personality.

Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Zen master and mindfulness expert, observes, "Mindfulness is the energy that helps us recognize the conditions of happiness that are already present in our lives."

It is as simple as it sounds. Mindfulness is just about being in the here and now without distractions or judgments. It is a state of intense focus that allows us to experience life fully and connect with the world on a deeper level.

Mindfulness is not merely an isolated activity that involves meditation or breathing techniques alone. It is a way of life. It is about bringing awareness, presence, and intentionality to every aspect of our lives, from the mundane to the extraordinary.

Whether we're eating a meal, engaging in conversation, or simply walking down the street, mindfulness invites us to fully immerse ourselves in the present moment with openness and curiosity.

When you start practicing mindfulness, remember to be kind to yourself.

It is common to have distractions. Do not be too hard on yourself or give up.

The key is to pause, breathe, and reconnect with the present moment. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's easy to get swept away by worries, to-do lists, and distractions. However, by gently guiding our attention back to the here and now, we can find refuge from the chaos and discover moments of peace and clarity amidst the noise.

A simple technique to get started with mindfulness is ‘breath counting.’

This involves focusing on the breath and counting each inhalation and exhalation. By directing our attention to the rhythmic flow of the breath, we anchor ourselves in the present moment and quiet the mind. The act of counting helps concentrate, allowing us to gently acknowledge and release distracting thoughts without judgment. This also reduces stress by tapping into the body's natural calming response.

Mindfulness is easy to practice, and the key is simply to make a start.

The core principle is gently directing focus to the present moment without judgment. Any method that accomplishes this is a mindfulness technique – it could be found in music, cleaning, drawing, cooking, or observing nature. Simply being present in each activity fosters mindfulness.

Here’s wishing you all a mindful life defined by clarity and calmness.

#PositiveThinking #Happiness #Mindfulness #HereAndNow #MindfulConversations #JananiSrikanth

Gratitude #MentalHealthMay

The selected theme for #MentalHealthMay is “Positive Thinking and Happiness.” To make positivity a constant in your life, I have identified four topics to feature every Wednesday in May.

This week's topic is “Positive Thinking.”

Positive thinking is a term used by almost everyone, but not everyone gets it right. So, what is Positive Thinking?

Positive thinking implies maintaining an optimistic outlook on life, focusing on solutions rather than problems, and cultivating a mindset that sees opportunities in challenges. To think positively, one must actively choose to dwell on thoughts that uplift and empower rather than those that bring down morale.

Positive thinking isn't about ignoring reality; rather, it's about accepting reality while choosing to approach it with a constructive mindset. It means reframing your challenges and setbacks in a way that encourages growth and learning.

Consider this example: Shweta, a high school student, faces severe anxiety before exams despite her study efforts. She experiences physical symptoms like sweating and a rapid heartbeat. Dismissing her anxiety with "just snap out of it" and "think positive" won't help. Seeking help from a psychologist to address underlying issues and teach coping strategies is crucial. Thinking positive involves efficiently dealing with the underlying issue and addressing it effectively.

To make realistic positivity a constant, I recommend “Gratitude Journaling.”

Each evening, take a few minutes to reflect on your day and identify three good things that happened. These could be small moments of joy, achievements, or acts of kindness you experienced or witnessed. Write down these three good things in a journal or notebook, being specific about what made them positive experiences and how they made you feel. Make it as detailed as possible.

Finally, soak in the positivity. Allow yourself to fully experience the positive emotions associated with your entries.

If you would like a recommendation for a basic gratitude journal #template, please comment or DM me.

Practicing gratitude consistently trains your brain to focus more on the positive aspects of your life, shifting your perspective from negative to positive. Over time, this can help rewire your thinking patterns and cultivate a more optimistic outlook.

#MentalHealthMay #PositiveThinking #SelfAwareness #Relationships #MindfulConversations #JananiSrikanth #MentalHealth

Relationships #MentalHealthMay

Human relationships encompass the connections we form with others, ranging from family members and friends to colleagues and acquaintances. These relationships fulfil our innate need for social interaction, belonging, and support.

Research consistently demonstrates that strong social connections are crucial for emotional well-being and overall health. Positive relationships contribute to increased happiness, reduced stress levels, and enhanced resilience in the face of challenges.

In the context of relationships, your romantic relationship constitutes one of the crucial aspects influencing the positivity and happiness in your life. This is one of the most researched and discussed topics in psychology where everyone has an opinion on love language, couple goals, and red flags to look out for.

A relationship is highly personal and is defined essentially by the ideals and values of the couple. Anyone outside the relationship cannot have an opinion or influence on the dynamics. If you are in a relationship or considering a potential partner, I would suggest you take the help of a qualified psychological counsellor who specializes in pre-marital and marital counselling.

I have addressed this topic in my novel “Taste of Fate” through my protagonist Maya is a relationship expert. 

In the words of my protagonist Maya from “Taste of Fate” (Link: https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0CWLQJCZT) – “The essence of a successful relationship lies not just in finding love but also in being capable of accepting it. It requires vulnerability, courage, and a willingness to let someone see the unfiltered, authentic version of yourself. A healthy relationship is a dynamic exchange, a continuous give-and-take where both partners contribute to the growth and well-being of the union.”

To cultivate and nurture positive relationships, it's essential to prioritize communication, empathy, and mutual respect. One effective tip to make this a habit is to practice ACTIVE LISTENING. 

How do we practice this? 

It is simple. Instead of simply waiting for your turn to speak, make a conscious effort to listen attentively to others, seeking to understand their perspectives and emotions. By demonstrating genuine interest and empathy in conversations, you can strengthen your connections and foster a supportive and uplifting social network.

When we feel understood, valued, and accepted by others, we experience a sense of belonging and connection that enriches our lives. Moreover, meaningful relationships offer opportunities for personal growth, self-discovery, and shared experiences that add depth and meaning to our existence. 

Here’s to relationships defining happiness and meaning in our lives.

 

Self-Awareness #MentalHealthMay

 The selected theme for #MentalHealthMay is “Positive Thinking and Happiness.”

To make positivity a constant in your life, I identified four topics to feature every Wednesday in May. The first one is SELF-AWARENESS.

Self-awareness is the ability to reflect and understand one's own thoughts, feelings, motivations, and behaviors. It helps one be aware of their own strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs. Developing self-awareness is the basic foundation in your journey towards personal growth and fulfillment. 

Seek guidance from a psychologist or life coach for expert assistance. While personal experiences shape opinions on subjects like psychology or philosophy, only qualified experts can offer structured support based on research and diverse perspectives.

These posts are meant to give you an awareness on factors that are addressed in professional sessions and propel you towards a growth-oriented mindset.

Self-Awareness is not simply an exercise of answering the right questions and understanding a little more about yourself. It must become a part of your everyday life and routine. Take a few moments every day consciously to pause and observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment. This practice helps you become more attuned to your inner experiences and increases self-awareness.

By understanding our emotions and the triggers behind them, we can effectively manage and regulate our responses. This leads to greater emotional stability and resilience, contributing to overall positivity and happiness. I personally recommend Self-awareness to help you identify your values, passions, and authentic selves. This is not a quick fix solution. One needs to dedicate time and effort to stay consistent. If we can dedicate 8 hours of our time to binge watch a limited series on a OTT platform, we should be able to dedicate at least two hours per week to get started.

When we align our actions with our true selves, we experience a sense of fulfillment and contentment, which enhances our overall well-being. When you know what you want, you might just end up getting it in life. Just tune to your inner selves and hear your subconscious cheerleader. One of the simple techniques I would like to help you tune into your inner strength and self-awareness is the “STOP Technique.”

The "STOP" technique is a mindfulness practice designed to help individuals pause and center themselves in moments of stress or overwhelm. By following the acronym, one can effectively interrupt negative thought patterns and regain a sense of control. "STOP" stands for:

S - Stop: Pause whatever you're doing or thinking.

T - Take a breath: Take a deep breath to ground yourself in the present moment.

O - Observe: Notice your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without judgment.

P - Proceed mindfully: Choose your next action consciously, based on a clearer understanding of your internal state and external circumstances.

By incorporating the "STOP" technique into daily life, individuals can cultivate greater self-awareness, resilience, and emotional regulation. Whether facing challenges at work, in relationships, or within oneself, this practice empowers individuals to respond with greater clarity, compassion, and effectiveness. A self-aware mind paves the way for greater positivity and happiness in your life.

Here's to being self-aware and chasing your dreams. My next post in this theme will be live next Wednesday. The topic chosen is “healthy Relationships”. Follow @jananisrikanth to stay updated.

World Book Day

 Books are as essential to me as the air I breathe.

Growing up in a household of avid readers, it was only natural to take to reading.

From daydreaming about lemonade and buns inspired by Enid Blyton to yearning to visit Malgudi, the fictional town created by R.K. Narayan, my childhood was a series of vacations spent traveling worlds, one book at a time.

On this World Book Day, I want to take a moment to remember my maternal grandfather, Mr. TS Thurumalai, an English teacher fondly referred to as a "mobile dictionary" by his students and colleagues. The way he devoured every word in the newspaper and solved crosswords effortlessly inspired me to become better with my language and vocabulary.

He used to recommend learning one new word every day and looking up its proper meaning in the dictionary to improve in the language. I used to do that as a kid every summer vacation, and that probably helps me in my chosen vocation as an author today. The childhood trips to Higginbothams, where he would get me a new book, remain etched in my memory.

No note of gratitude is complete if I don't mention my mother, Mrs. Rajalakshmi Kannan, who is the reason I'm a writer today. She never hesitated to pay for library memberships, discuss books with me, making my life vibrant and meaningful.

I've been privileged to grow up surrounded by books, but for those who haven't had the same experience, it's never too late to start. Just pick up a book and make a beginning. You may not connect immediately, but I assure you, it will become a habit soon.

A World Book Day post won't be complete if I do not talk about my books, written in a lucid language with engaging narratives, perfect for non-readers looking to dive into the world of reading.

"A Balance Called Life" explores things that can brighten your life and lead to personal transformation when practiced consistently, while "Taste of Fate" is a magical story promising a happily-ever-after.

Give them a read and let me know if they help ignite a love for reading in you.

Here are the links -

Taste of Fate, A Novel - 

https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0CWLQJCZT

A Balance Called Life, A Self-help book -https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0BTVPP69N

Unbounded Love #PhilosophyThursdays

#PhilosophyThursdays will feature my take on some profound philosophical quotes by prominent philosophers. I write a new post every third Thursday of every month. From this week, it will feature in my blog ‘Mindful Conversations.’ Please follow to stay updated and notified.

The quote of this week is one of the most famous quotes about relationships from Kahlil Gibran's 'The Prophet': 'Let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.'

This quote beautifully encapsulates the balance between intimacy and individuality within relationships. At first glance, the notion of 'spaces in your togetherness' might seem counterintuitive. In a world that often celebrates constant togetherness, Gibran offers a refreshing perspective. He reminds us that healthy relationships require room to breathe – space for each individual to flourish and grow, even within the context of partnership.

Creating space allows partners to maintain their sense of self, pursue their own interests, and continue evolving as individuals. This autonomy not only prevents co-dependency but also enhances mutual respect and appreciation. When each person has the freedom to explore their passions and aspirations, they bring more richness and depth to the relationship.

What is important to note is that Gibran does not suggest a distance or detachment. He emphasizes the importance of maintaining a deep connection while honouring the unique identity of each person involved. 'Love one another but make not a bond of love,' he advises, suggesting that love should be expansive rather than confining.

Gibran’s wisdom aligns with my ideology reflected in a quote from my latest novel ‘Taste of Fate’: “Having a strong independent presence in a nurturing relationship is the key to harmony.”

Before we can fully give ourselves to another, we must first cultivate a deep sense of inner wholeness and acceptance. Only then can we enter into a partnership as equals, sharing our lives without losing ourselves in the process.

Embrace the beauty of space in togetherness.

Honor the uniqueness of each individual.

Here’s to a love that opens hearts and minds.

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If you love my style of writing and take on relationships, please check out 'Taste of Fate: A Psychologist's Take on Modern Relationships.' It's available on Amazon worldwide. https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0CWLQJCZT