Watching Evil Influencer: The Jodi Hildebrandt Story, what stayed with me was not only the extremity of harm, but the quiet way it begins, often disguised as help.
A person seeking clarity. Relief. A way to live better with themselves and others.
Somewhere along the way, guidance shifts its shape.
What should have been support becomes substitution. Reflection becomes instruction. And slowly, the person’s own voice starts to fade.
A life coach or therapist is not meant to become your voice.
Their role is to help you see more clearly, not to decide more rigidly. Real empowerment does not come from absorbing someone else’s certainty. It comes from strengthening your capacity to notice, question, and choose for yourself.
Trying to better yourself does not mean ignoring your intuition. It means sharpening it and tuning into it.
You know your life better than anyone else ever will.
This is where idealistic influencers enter the picture. People who seem to have it all together. The language is polished. The certainty is persuasive. The life they present looks ordered, healed, resolved. For someone feeling uncertain, that kind of confidence can feel reassuring. But idealisation is also where discernment quietly switches off. When influencers appear flawless, their ideas can begin to feel unquestionable. And that is precisely the moment when guidance needs more scrutiny, not less.
Ethical support keeps inner authority intact. It respects context. It leaves room for disagreement. It encourages review, pause, and independent thinking. It does not require you to stay indefinitely to prove growth, loyalty, or readiness.
Healthy guidance has a direction. And that direction is outward.
You should be moving back into your own life with more trust in your judgement, not circling endlessly around the person who helped you. If support does not eventually make itself lighter, if it resists closure or reflection, something essential has been lost.
When insight is enforced rather than integrated, growth becomes fragile.
A good practitioner helps you deal with your life. They do not replace your relationship with it.
The measure of successful coaching is quiet and unremarkable.
You leave steadier.
More self-directed.
Less reliant.
And very clearly, with your own voice reclaimed.
P.S. The article is inspired by Evil Influencer: The Jodi Hildebrandt Story on Netflix. The documentary includes graphic and distressing content. Viewer discretion advised.