Saturday, December 7, 2024

Celebrating T.S.Thirumalai

On the occasion of my maternal grandfather’s 100th birth anniversary, I reflect on the indelible impact he has had on my life and the lives of so many others. Known as an English stalwart, he was a man of intellect and simplicity, whose presence, though quiet, was deeply felt. He was an enigma—always present, yet distant in a way that only those who knew him could truly understand.

My grandfather was often called a “mobile dictionary” by his students, a testament to his vast knowledge and love for language. I cannot remember a time when he wasn’t engrossed in a book or newspaper, always consuming and processing information. Even in his 80s, he tackled the Hindu crossword with unmatched enthusiasm, keeping his mind sharp and his curiosity alive.

Our trips to Higginbothams were magical—a ritual we both cherished. The smell of books, the quiet joy of choosing one, and his patient presence as I explored were the highlights of my childhood vacations. These trips weren’t just about books; they were about a shared love for discovery. I remember coaxing him into attempting ballroom dance steps, a challenge he indulged with quiet amusement, stepping out of his comfort zone just to make me happy.

Now, as a psychologist, I emphasize journaling as a tool for mental well-being. My grandfather didn’t just journal; he logged daily events with precision, including the smallest details, refusing to dismiss anything as mundane. For him, I imagine it wasn’t merely a record—it was an acknowledgment that every moment, no matter how ordinary, held its own value.

He was a man who never dramatized or overshared emotions, yet his presence was a constant, steady source of support. His love was never loud but always unwavering. He didn’t need to say much—his actions spoke volumes. Whether it was his deep appreciation for Carnatic music, the satisfaction of a well-prepared meal, or the sheer joy of a completed task, he showed us how to savor life’s simple pleasures. 

Of all the things he inspired in me, the one I cherish most is the importance of intellectual engagement. It has been my anchor, helping me stay meaningfully occupied, discover my passions, and savor my journey as a writer.

Today, as I reflect on his 100 years of life, I feel profoundly blessed to have witnessed a life lived with such dignity, quiet strength, and enduring love. Thathu, your legacy is woven into the very fabric of who I am. Your wisdom, restraint, and unwavering love continue to guide me in countless ways. You will always be cherished, remembered, and deeply missed. Thank you for shaping my world in ways words can never fully capture. 

Saturday, July 20, 2024

Building Bridges

Why does every conversation with my partner turn into an argument?


Why does my partner never appreciate the things I do for them?


Why do I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells in my relationship?


When did my relationship turn so difficult?


If you’re experiencing these thoughts, you’re not alone. 

Relationships demand commitment, support, and love. Sometimes, life gets busy, and we don’t have the time to nurture our relationships as we should. It’s easy for partners to take each other for granted or to assume that the other should understand their reactions and needs implicitly. This can lead to feelings of being unsupported or misunderstood.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward addressing them and rebuilding a healthier, more respectful connection. 

To initiate change, you must first acknowledge that there is a problem and commit to working on it. Whether it’s setting aside time each day to discuss your concerns or scheduling an appointment with a therapist, taking proactive steps is crucial to building a solid foundation for your relationship.

When I wrote my novel ‘Taste of Fate’, I wanted to present a picture of healthy relationship dynamics set in an engaging narrative. 

There are many lines that are close to my thought and ideology but this one encapsulates the essence of an ideal relationship, “A healthy relationship is a dynamic exchange, a continuous give-and-take where both partners contribute to the growth and well-being of the union.”

Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, enabling partners to express their needs, desires, and concerns openly. It fosters understanding and trust by allowing both individuals to address issues before they escalate. 

When both voices are heard and valued in a relationship, there is synergy. 

Take time today to nurture your relationship. 

Call your partner and say how much you love them. 

Schedule a date night and find joy in nurturing conversations. 

Remember, life is enriched by meaningful relationships, and it all begins at home. 

Wishing you an amazing weekend filled with love and laughter. Here’s to authentic relationships lighting up our lives.


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To know more about my view on relationships, check out my novel ‘Taste of Fate’ on Amazon. It is free on Kindle Unlimited and is Amazon’s Top 5 Bestseller for four months now.https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0CWLQJCZT




#Relationships #RelationshipCounseling #DearMaya #RelationshipAdvice #Communication #Respect #Romance #Novel #Psychology

Wednesday, July 3, 2024

RECLAIM YOUR AURA

Have you ever felt drained around a person?

Has someone’s aura put a damper on your positivity?

Do you find yourself avoiding certain individuals because they seem to suck the energy out of you?

If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, you’ve likely encountered what many refer to as “energy vampires.”

I did my certification in energy healing and realized that the concept of an energy vampire is indeed valid in the alternative healing beliefs. Even though it is not a validated concept in the scientific framework, I personally feel there is some merit to this term that exists in the metaphysical realm.

Energy vampires are individuals who, intentionally or unintentionally, drain your emotional and mental energy.

They thrive on your attention and can leave you feeling exhausted, stressed, and overwhelmed. These individuals often exhibit characteristics such as constant negativity, excessive complaining, or a tendency to create drama.

However, it's not just about whining or negative topics; they also criticize you, push you into a corner, and drain all positivity out of you.

For fans of the Harry Potter series, the term “dementor” might ring a bell. Dementors are dark creatures that feed on human happiness, leaving their victims feeling cold and despondent. While energy vampires don’t have the supernatural ability to literally suck out your soul, the impact they have can feel strikingly similar.

 Just as dementors leave their victims feeling hopeless, energy vampires can sap your motivation and enthusiasm.

Identifying energy vampires in your life is the first step to managing their impact.

Some signs that someone might be an energy vampire include:

·        ~  They always focus on the negative aspects of life and rarely having anything positive to say.

·         ~ They are often at the center of conflict or chaos, stirring up drama wherever they go.

·         ~ These individuals crave constant attention and validation, often monopolizing conversations.

·       ~  They consistently portray themselves as the victim in every situation, refusing to take responsibility for their actions.

·        ~  They criticise you relentlessly, undermining your confidence and making you feel trapped.

If you had a face in your mind as you read this, it is your hint to act and reclaim your aura back.

While it’s tempting to avoid energy vampires altogether, this isn’t always possible, especially if the person is a boss, family member, or someone you encounter regularly.

Here are some practical tips to help you cope:

·         Establish clear boundaries regarding what topics you’re willing to discuss and how much time you’re willing to spend with them.

·         Politely but firmly enforce these limits. Reduce the amount of time you spend with them whenever possible. If you can’t avoid them entirely, try to limit interactions to shorter, more manageable periods.

·         Counter their negativity with positivity. While it’s important not to engage in toxic positivity, maintaining a hopeful outlook can help mitigate their draining effect. Understand their perspective without getting emotionally involved. This can help you stay detached and protect your energy.

·         Practice deep breathing, visualization, or other grounding techniques before and after interactions to help maintain your emotional balance.

If dealing with an energy vampire becomes overwhelming, talk to a friend, therapist, or counselor for support and guidance.

Remember that it is important to protect your emotional well-being and maintain your positive outlook. Your energy is valuable – guard it wisely.